4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
