making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
