end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
