Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
