Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
