i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
this is an emotional support booty call
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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