babies were throwing up all over the place
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
