After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
