She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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