Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
