I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
