Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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