well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
