would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Drunk is not a location!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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