Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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