No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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