No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
