i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's always time for handjobs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
