i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize