he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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