I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i've created a new STD.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize