I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
