I think I am morally bankrupt
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
