omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
why do cheetos always look like penises
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
