Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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