When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
