One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
