Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
