cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Vodka?
Forever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
