I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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