Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
