im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
