i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
