cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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