Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize