I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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