I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
