that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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