you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
