End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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