the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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