piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
