I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
