I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
