I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
