i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
