I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize