New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
