my vag is so smooth its legendary
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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