And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
