there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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