I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
