remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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