I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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