Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
