I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
