Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
