at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
