Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
