did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
