I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
